Greetings, Earthlings. I’ve been pretty busy the past month. I’ve spent the past three weekends scuba diving…actually, I just got certified last weekend in San Marcos at the former Aquarena Springs. I know, it’s weird…scuba diving in the winter. I thought I’d get a jump on the summer mayhem but a bunch of other people felt the same way. Our class was packed. I did my first official dive this weekend out at the chilly Clear Springs Scuba Park in Terrell, TX. The water was a brisk 50 degrees but that didn’t stop this polar bear. What stopped me was my buoyant 7mm wetsuit. I didn’t have enough weights to keep me under the water till about 10 feet. After a few false starts, I finally got under and the water pressure compressed the suit. But coming up, I experienced an uncontrolled ascent and shot to the top like a missile. If we had actually been deep diving that would’ve been it…but I cheated death to dive another day! Hopefully my mother is not reading this. Don’t worry I’ll get better…the combination of cold water and all new equipment configuration was a potent and confusing brew — something that I’m going to have to adjust to. Unfortunately I won’t get a chance to get wet for another couple of weeks. I’m already formulating my evil plans.